10 items you never knew you needed until you became a dad

Now you’ve got a bub, you need to get your baby kit together. These are ten of the essentials guaranteed* to save your sanity.

1. Baby bag

Going anywhere is a logistical nightmare for parents. Whole armies have marched across borders with less forethought than you’ll now need to grab a tin of paint at Bunnings.

Baby bags are the big sister of your wife’s handbag, but it’s definitely a choice of utility rather than looks.

They need to contain everything you need to remain out of the house for up to a day, including warm clothes for cold snaps and breezes, singlets, onesies, blankets, tins of baby food, spoons, nappies, wipes and the all important back-ups (see below).

Key features to look for include a foldable changing mat (essential when changing on the run), easy access pockets with insulation heat regulators for bottles (if you need to grab that emergency bottle, you need to know where to find it), and external zip pockets (essential for throwing keys into).

And compartments. Lots (and lots) of compartments. You don’t want to want to have to empty out half the bag to find that one little thing you need.

To make your life easier, remember to re-stock your bag when you return. This way you’ll always be ready for your next outing.

2. Baby wipes

Ok, so you’re well aware you need baby wipes. What will take you by surprise though is how much you use them for absolutely everything. Because once you discover the joy that is a fresh moist nappy wipe, you won’t know yourself.

They’re wonderful not just for getting rid of the poo from between a baby’s bum cheeks, but also for cleaning anything from a chocolate-covered face (well, hopefully it’s chocolate) to toothpaste on the vanity and dried snot on little noses.

We regularly wipe down the dashboard in the car with them, and I’ve used them to freshen up a public toilet seat when the kids can’t hold on until we get home. There’s nothing baby wipes can’t do.

3. Electronic thermometer

“Feel his head. Does it feel hot? Has he got a temperature?”

There are only two possible ways this will go.

You’ll end up in the hospital ER, where you’ll be surprised to learn babies with a minor temperature are not taken straight through to a high priority bed next to the stroke and heart attack victims, but rather left in the waiting area until there’s a lull.

Or you’ll pull out the battery-operated thermometer from the medicine cabinet and put everyone’s mind at ease. We spent $100 on ours and I’ve never regretted it. It’s also good for when the kids get older and try to bung on a sick day.

4. Baby sleep mat monitor

I don’t care how much self control you think you have, when your baby’s asleep and their breathing is so shallow that you can’t see their little chest moving in the dark, you’ll panic and deliberately wake them up – then instantly regret it.

This is why sleep mats are even better than nappy wipes. Nappy wipes clean up poo, but sleep mats stop your life from going down the toilet.

A sleep mat sits under the cot mattress and will alert you if the baby stops moving. You won’t be tempted to wake the baby between feeds, which means you and your partner can finally get some quality time between the sheets doing that thing you never seem to have time for anymore – sleeping.

5. Nose suctioner

Baby’s nose is stuffed, they can’t blow. And no one’s going to get any sleep until it’s clear. First port of call is the suctioner.

Purely using the power of air, you clench the rubber suction bubble and insert the attached little rod up your baby’s nose. A vacuum is created and snot and mucus can – pretty spectacularly – appear. If you don’t get any action, loosen it up with a squirt of saline nasal spray.

If that doesn’t work, the only course of action involves you baby’s nose and your mouth. Seriously.

6. Nappy disposal unit

The variety of grotesque smells that such a little person can produce is genuinely impressive. Unfortunately, it can be genuinely stomach churning, too. You don’t want to leave smelly nappies wafting in a regular bin for hours on end. Which is where dedicated nappy disposal unit comes in.

These specialised bins have a built in plastic wrapping system that seals nappies in a tight film, locking in the stink as well as containing and killing the germs. Pop one of these little beauties in the baby’s room to save countless late night trips outside to the toxic waste wheelie bin.

Seriously, it will be the best $50-$100 bucks you will ever spend.

7. Nappy disposal bags

The on-the-go version of the nappy bin. These smell-retaining plastic bags are not just for your dogs. Keep a stash of these bad boys in your baby bag to pop dirty nappies in on the go. It will stop you stanking up your car,  your friends houses or anywhere you and your little 24/7 poop dispenser go.

8. Baby formula dispenser

If you’re formula feeding your baby, these small, stackable cups are insanely effective. Measure out the formula before you head out, and tip into the bottle of pre-prepared water when you need it. No more tin carrying and measuring on the go.

Also handy during the late night feeds.

9. Microwavable bottle steriliser

Bottles in, water in, zap on high for 2 minutes – job done. Easy, simple and very, very effective.

10. Back-ups

Like the important information on your laptop, if you don’t have backups of everything, you are at risk. Only this is more important than your data – this is your sanity we’re saving.

Depending on how you’re feeding your baby, backups will include teats, formula, bottles, teething rings, nappies and dummies. And don’t forget age-appropriate medicine, like teething gel. In much the same way it’s likely your baby thoughtfully arrived in the wee hours after an all-nighter, your child will wait until 30 seconds after the local supermarket or chemist shuts before lighting up with the sort of fever you’d expect of an astronaut approaching Venus.

*guaranteed in the metaphorical not literal sense.