As a guy, you can feel pretty helpless during pregnancy. It's hard to watch her suffer, but massages and warms baths only go so far. At some point isn't her pain just par for the course with growing a human baby inside her body?
Pregnancy has more than its share of niggles. Swollen ankles, stretch marks, sore bits, nausea, tiredness and a bunch of other stuff can and does occur. Most of it can be worked on and even cured with any number of remedies, from massages to medication. But there are things that go beyond niggles. Some women develop gestational diabetes. Some women experience dangerously high blood pressure. Some women can even lose their teeth!
The Mamanator didn’t do morning sickness by halves. Her condition was known as “hyperemesis gravidarum”. Or as I called it when I was talking to one of the ladies down at the general store, “that thing Kate Middleton had”.
I can’t help but think there are women out there suffering from this condition in silence; because they assume it must be normal to throw up all the time during pregnancy. If that’s you, go see your doctor about it, they may be able to help.
But this post is about another boon of pregnancy, a condition known as ‘Pelvic Girdle Pain’ (formerly known as ‘Pelvic Instability’).
I’ll try and explain it.
Your pelvis (men and women) is a group of bones that make up your hips. They connect your legs to your body and are critical to your ability to stand up, among other things. The above diagram shows what the bones look like.
See that large passageway in the middle? The baby has to pass through it as they come out. As far as the body is concerned in the run up to labour, this is non-negotiable.
In order to get ready for this, the body produces a hormone called Relaxin. As the name suggests, Relaxin helps relax ligaments and tendons in the body, especially the ones labelled in the diagram Sacroiliac Joints and the Symphysis Pubis Joint. This helps the hip bones come apart a bit during childbirth, creating a larger opening for the baby and ensuring it can make it into the birth canal, and ultimately out the vagina. If it can’t get past these bones, it cannot get out the front way.
Pelvic Girdle Pain can occur when these joints soften up too much too early. If these bones don’t hold together, especially given the extra weight of a growing baby, it causes a lot of pain in the surrounding area, mobility issues, and in extreme cases can leave an expectant mother wheelchair bound. It can also put increased strain on other parts of the body, especially the lower back, which has to compensate for the loss of stability in the pelvis.
Forewarned is forearmed
The Mamanator suffered this condition when she was pregnant with The Lad. She thought it was just the usual pregnancy niggles, like leg pains and backaches. Until one day, while out shopping and pushing a trolley, things got really bad, really quick.
She experienced sharp stabbing pains in her lower abdomen. She thought she was miscarrying and got herself to the hospital quick sticks. As soon as she lay down she started feeling better. She was ordered to lie down for five days, got on with a course of physio and had to wear a support belt for a while, but it got better.
She’s been diagnosed with it again, but this time around she knew what to look for. She’s wearing the belt, and has been given exercises to do at home to help strengthen the area and take the pressure off her pelvis as much as possible.
What’s harder this time is that we have a child to look after and opportunities for putting feet up can be difficult to find.
It’s not an Olympic sport
So here’s where I get to the point of this post. Women take pregnancy differently. It’s not an Olympic sport, you don’t get a medal for coping with it better than anyone else. The Mamanator hated pregnancy the first time, and she’s hating it this time too. Though that doesn’t make her less of a woman than our friends, who barely noticed they were pregnant for the whole nine months.
She’s getting the help and support she needs, and doing what she has to do for her own health and, ultimately, the health of her children, while I do what I can to support her.
So fellas out there, don’t laugh off her complaints, don’t say “well, it’s just pregnancy” if the mother of your child is sharing concerns with you. If you or your partner are worried then seek out advice. Ask questions at your antenatal appointments, get things checked out and take care of yourself.
Yes, pregnancy will almost always entail some inconvenience and even suffering, but don’t assume it’s all “normal”, and don’t assume there’s no help out there for you. At the very least your fears will be put to rest.
For more info on the conditions above have a look at the following websites:
Hyperemesis Gravidarum: The Hyperemesis Education and Research Foundation
Pelvic Girdle Pain: PIA Australia
Originally published at Dadinating