How to survive the ‘Tour De Christmas’ with your newborn

T’is the season to overcommit to family and friends who all want their fair share of the Christmas cuddles

nativity scene

I could see the picture postcard in my head. Everyone gathered around our little baby lying angelically on the ground, surrounded by a small mountain of gifts. Doting parents and older generations gaze upon him with a joyous serenity. He sleeps softly. Exhausted by all the excitement, but content in the family’s love. It’s basically a Nativity scene without the donkey.

And it’s not how it happened. Not by a long shot.

Turns out travel, crowds, hot weather and fresh babies don’t go together so well.

baby-crying-in-pram-web

Our son was born in October and had his first ever Christmas at the age of two months. Looking back on it now, I can honestly say that I barely remember it. I’m sure the lad (now 5) can’t either.

But in the haze of all the excitement and exhaustion of early parenthood I do remember being absolutely committed to parading my tiny boy around to as many relatives as I could. As his dad I felt it was my duty to ensure he received the maximum number of Christmas cuddles and highest absorption of aunty-slobber possible.

It was his first Christmas – it was vitally important that it was special and memorable.

In reality, of course, he slept through most of it, spent more time in the car than anyone’s arms, and if anything, found the presents and attention over-stimulating.

When he was awake, he spent most of the time fussing and crying. But at least he didn’t throw up. He waited ’til the next Christmas for that.

If your little lad or lass is coming up to their first Christmas, here’s a few tips from an over-eager dad who’s been there, done that and worn the ugly Christmas tee-shirt.

Rule #1: Pack sensibly and don’t sweat the small stuff

Before having kids, the mamanator and I could travel Europe for months with a single backpack carrying everything we needed. An overnight trip with a new baby, however, would see us completely filling the boot of a station wagon and still feeling uneasy that we “didn’t bring everything”.

A baby requires at least 6 sets of clothing for an overnight stay. Didn’t you know that? Plus there’s nappies, wipes, bibs, wraps, blankets, the carrier, the port-a-cot, the pram, the favourite toys, the next favourite toys and the you-really-want-to-be-their-favourite-but-they-just-don’t-seem-to-get-it-on-the-same-level-as-you toy, the extra spare clothes for yourself in case of spew or poo… yours or the baby’s, it doesn’t matter.

It basically never ends until your car is full and you simply can’t fit so much as a bib more. And don’t worry. No matter what you plan for, you’ll discover you forgot something vitally important.

Try not to overthink it, most shops are open pretty late around Christmas anyway.

Rule #2: There’s 12 days of Christmas, spread things out

After a Christmas Eve gathering followed by two Christmas day celebrations, it became a total blur.

We put pressure on ourselves to cram everything into 24 hours so that our wonderful, amazing, golden boy could bask in the glow of Christmas at its very brightest. We spent most of our time anxiously watching the clock trying to make sure everyone “had a hold” before whisking him away to the next stop on our Tour de Christmas.

We’d feel synchronous guilt for leaving one gathering too soon, and then arriving at the next one later than we said we would. It wasn’t fun, and in retrospect it really wasn’t worth it.

These days our approach is a lot more pragmatic.

We still manage to see everyone, but we’re less precious about December 25th. This year (our fifth parenting Christmas) we’ve already had two Christmas celebrations a fortnight out from the Big Day.

It’s meant we’ve been able to take our time and catch up with family properly. It also gives our kids time to recover between late nights, strange places and too much excitement.

Rule #3: Remember to enjoy yourself

Between the mad rush, new parent paranoia and family obligations, the festive season can quickly take a dive into a far from merry affair.

But don’t forget fellow dads (and mums), you’re also a valued member of the family yourself, and you are entitled to a joyous and relaxing Christmas too.

Early on in parenthood you are still on edge about a lot of things. You assume you have to be within three feet of the baby or they’ll set fire to something. You think it’s your job to act as warden and protector at all times. Which includes being the master and scheduler of cuddles.

But Christmas is a time when your precious and delicate new baby is surrounded by people who love them. People you can trust. So kick back, take the break and enjoy the ride.

Of course your darling will almost certainly get their first taste of lollies, break something, get tired, grumpy and spew (yes, this happened to us).

But that’s all just part of being a baby at Christmas time.

Turns out Christmas comes every year

Since that first Christmas of long car trips, tantrums and tiredness (some of it from our baby), we’ve settled into our role as guardians of this festive season. And that first Christmas is now a distant (and partially suppressed) memory.

These days, we throw ourselves into Christmas because we want to, not because we feel we have to. Turns out Christmas comes every year, and you get the chance to build it into whatever you want for your family and your kids.

You don’t have to do it all in that first year, so don’t let yourself – or anyone else – pressure you into a version of Christmas that doesn’t work for you.